I just read my previous post about my routines, and how they have become my way of life. I have spent the past few days wondering why I am feeling sad, bored, and at times desperate. I had an ah-ha moment just now!
The past week has been very busy for me! My 5 year-old Princess Pea started Kindergarten, and my oldest child, and only boy, started third grade a few weeks ago. Three days ago my sister gave birth to her third child. I spent all day Monday at the hospital, and Tuesday night I actually spent the night with her to give her husband some time with the older two. (If you ever think you're ready for another baby, spend the night with someone's newborn. You'll know for sure if you really are ready!) We've also started fall gymnastics for Princess Pea, and soccer for our older two.
So in a nutshell the past few weeks have been hectic and filled with activity! The last few days have been calmer, but I have found myself, after sending the older two off to school, feeling extremely sad and have even begun to dread my days with my toddler! I've been trying to figure it out, "Am I sad because I'm left with just one? Am I missing my older two? Do I need to fill my schedule with more stuff to do?" I've even fleetingly contemplated that maybe I am feeling this way because I need to go out and do something for me, like get a job!!
This morning I was sitting with my sweet baby, and she was having a morning snack. I kept glancing up at the clock, wondering how much longer it would be until she takes her morning nap. Shame on me! Why am I feeling this way?!
It hit me. After all my talk of routines, and how they are what keeps my life running smoothly, I realized I have no schedule or routine for just my baby and I! It has been a few months since the two of us have had our days alone, and even then it was only 3 days a week for a few hours while older sister was in preschool. She was also less than a year old then. Now, at 15 months, she's a different child, with much different needs. I need to establish our daily routine, plain and simple. Now that I've identified the problem, I feel my whole outlook changing! I was looking for some outside activity or lifestyle change, when it was a simple shift in focus. How quickly my pride in my routines is squashed!
So today's one thing needful will be to establish a daily routine for baby and I. I'll share it when the kinks are worked out. As always, I'd love you to share what you do!
Memory Eternal Fr. Gordon Thomas Walker
4 months ago